Kinship Cairns

 I went camping in Avery county over the weekend. We found an incredible swimming hole (more on that later) and on the surface of the rocks in the river we found piles of smaller rocks, cairns. I had no idea why, but the sight of them filled me with tenderness. 

Lately, I slingshot between a swelling sense of peace and slow burning fury when I listen to the news. Last week, my heart grew (grinch-style) as I read the Obergefell v. Hodges decision. 

...and let me just say, dorkily, that Justice Kennedy is a fantastic writer and the whole opinion is worth a read:

"Marriage is sacred to those who live by their religions and offers unique fulfillment to those who find meaning in the secular realm. Its dynamic allows two people to find a life that could not be found alone, for a marriage becomes greater than just the two persons. Rising from the most basic human needs, marriage is essential to our most profound hopes and aspirations."

"The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms, such as expression, intimacy, and spirituality. This is true for all persons, whatever their sexual orientation."

We find freedoms in the creation of kinship, defined as both blood relations and a sharing of characteristics or origin. Today was a day of heart-stretching but on my days of simmering anger, my frustration generally comes, not from the ideological violence (because I believe most sane people see the horror in that) but from the tearing polarization that follows in the court of public opinion and the degree to which we will set aside our highest ideals in order to destroy that which wishes to destroy us. In doing so we're destroying ourselves. We're so busy finding the contours of other-ness on the opposite side of the aisle, tracks, or world that we forget our kinship. 

We, all people, share characteristics or origin. Whether you believe that cradle is Abrahamic or Darwinian in nature, a luscious garden in the middle east or in the belly of the African continent is mostly irrelevant, because we share origin. And with that shared origin should come a profound, sacred respect.

My faith is not particularly ecclesiastical; heaven to me looks like peace on earth-- where this profound, sacred respect abounds for each other and for the earth (and everyone rides bicycles. and good salsa comes with every meal.)-- but we lead different lives and protect each other's right to that difference voraciously. A small thing I appreciated in the social media explosion post-SCOTUS decision was this, posted by Stephanie Nielson: 

"As Church members (Mormons) strive to protect marriage between a man and a woman, they should show respect, civility, and kindness towards others who have different points of view." 

I am not Mormon and I do not agree with Nielson; but I respect the sentiment (though maybe not the exact meaning) behind these words. Her faith precludes same-sex marriage. But extending respect, civility, and kindness towards others who believe differently is one step towards towards the world I want to see. It's a hard step, I think. 

Many months ago, in the midst of dealing with a student situation that mirrored our nation's political pulse, I stormed into my boss' office with indignant rage. He patiently listened to me rant, then remarked, "isn't that the hard part of tolerance? We must be tolerant of even the intolerant." The zen-buddhism of this statement threw me for a loop. It runs against my natural grain, to show tolerance to the intolerant (and yes, I am aware of that irony: what does that make me?). And I think there is a place for righteous anger in the conversation, especially when the intolerance is directed at you, personally. But I am trying to extend this namaste unto others who think differently than me. 

And this is what touched me when I saw the cairns. 

Cairns are used more often as trail markers, but throughout history they've also been used to mark physically or astrologically significant places. These cairns may have just been marking the way to the swimming hole; but I prefer to think of them as little altars everywhere, tiny prayers marking this sacred space. In the midst of all the crazy, it was peace. 

Wishing you cairns, chocolate cake, or whatever else you might need this week,
Madelyn

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"Today, if we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other." 

-Mother Theresa